can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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