just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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