so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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