we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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