I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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