so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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