Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
