dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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