I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
