Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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