how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
