What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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