Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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