We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize