So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
