i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
