Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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