The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
