She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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