Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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