I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
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I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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