Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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