I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
