glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
