You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Farmville is her only friend.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
