I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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