i jhust puked up my retainher.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize