I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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