I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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