it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
