oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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