Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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