i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize