1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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