it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
