Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
