You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
