I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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