Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
