Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
