Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
...so i touched it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize