She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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