I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
