We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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