there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
