We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible