I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
farters have to be the big spoon...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.