I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.