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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

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• (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

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• (892): View more from

  YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Only one tier

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tastes like cardboard anyway

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.

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• (976): View more from

  Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand

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