Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.

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  (559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster. http://tfl.nu/p7ub
  Replies (109) Good night (13356) Bad night (1203)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb

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  (904): youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb http://tfl.nu/7q2n
  Replies (26) Good night (889) Bad night (5478)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..

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  (708): He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam.. http://tfl.nu/opqs
  Replies (30) Good night (3470) Bad night (2306)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

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  (410): My mouth holds just enough water for my bong http://tfl.nu/u9dn
  Replies (7) Good night (2186) Bad night (1092)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.

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  (248): So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/x1ov
  Replies (11) Good night (1051) Bad night (5603)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes

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  (229): dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes http://tfl.nu/v2kt
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How was the rest of your night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  A little fuzzy and a lot naked.

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  (646): How was the rest of your night? (917): A little fuzzy and a lot naked. http://tfl.nu/r63c
  Replies (7) Good night (2399) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class

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  (336): just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class http://tfl.nu/i0x8
  Replies (6) Good night (603) Bad night (1575)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

  (917): View more from New York City

  that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

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  (917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f
  Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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  (+27): I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me. http://tfl.nu/p5fs
  Replies (13) Good night (596) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'

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  (514): MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.' http://tfl.nu/5zwe
  Replies (7) Good night (1888) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun

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  (615): The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun http://tfl.nu/o67z
  Replies (4) Good night (1545) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut

  (714): View more from California

  I think mark twain said that originally

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  (949): Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut (714): I think mark twain said that originally http://tfl.nu/28hc
  Replies (6) Good night (1692) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

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  (336): At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick http://tfl.nu/8ojw
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"

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  (724): A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me" http://tfl.nu/trq4
  Replies (1) Good night (163) Bad night (29)

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