Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Its not alright that i make out with a manican.

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  (404): Its not alright that i make out with a manican. http://tfl.nu/ol2k
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (920)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.

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  (919): I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts. http://tfl.nu/d6ex
  Replies (32) Good night (3638) Bad night (550)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did

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  (910): Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did http://tfl.nu/f390
  Replies (14) Good night (3844) Bad night (649)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"

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  (570): How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks" http://tfl.nu/r0yt
  Replies (26) Good night (6460) Bad night (947)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.

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  (903): I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again. http://tfl.nu/pun6
  Replies (39) Good night (4385) Bad night (943)
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  (619): View more from California

  The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?

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  (619): The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!? http://tfl.nu/uvtx
  Replies (5) Good night (2089) Bad night (773)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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  (412): I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms http://tfl.nu/sbef
  Replies (18) Good night (3839) Bad night (1178)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think

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  (732): because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think http://tfl.nu/340q
  Replies (8) Good night (1701) Bad night (600)
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  (916): View more from California

  He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.

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  (916): He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/zvxf
  Replies (10) Good night (585) Bad night (1966)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is

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  (610): I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is http://tfl.nu/18uv
  Replies (8) Good night (1642) Bad night (839)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.

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  (314): Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous. http://tfl.nu/8pll
  Replies (15) Good night (1378) Bad night (484)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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  (847): This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird. http://tfl.nu/h1he
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (428)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.

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  (763): FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth. http://tfl.nu/ynrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1139) Bad night (654)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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  (+44): You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future http://tfl.nu/4nas
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (311)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went

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  (630): Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went http://tfl.nu/vz7s
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (289)

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