this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering