i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
