i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
