Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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