At least make sure they are 18
Why
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
