it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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