I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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