dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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