She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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