a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
