I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
