I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
